Since there is cutting, digging and prying involved I opted for the anesthesia. This way I would be out completely and hopefully wouldn't feel any unwanted pain (the painkillers afterwards worked their magic too). Believe me. I was out cold.
I remember going into the operating room after changing and getting hooked up to an IV. I wasn't feeling any sudden drowsiness and was worried I wouldn't be asleep before the blood starting spilling. The nurse assured me everything would be going according then hooked me up to the gas mask.
The next thing I remembered was waking up on the couch back home with the taste of blood in my mouth. Apparently I had been talking non-stop since coming to after the operation, but couldn't remember any of it. Lucky for me and my short term memory loss, my parents recorded whole thing on cassette.
A year before I got my wisdom teeth out, Adam had undergone the whole thing. The accounts of his post anesthesia conversations were so funny that I requested a thorough documentation of mine. Unfortunately, the doctor wouldn't consent to a video recording of it, for liability reasons, so we decided that a concealed tape recorder would do the job nicely.
When I awoke on the couch and couldn't remember the a thing I started pack up with intense questioning. I was promptly asked to stop speaking, and the valuable recording was given to me. I listened to the past, already forgotten, moments of my life on cassette and may have done even more damage with all the laughing I indulged in. As I listened my memory slowly came back, and I was reliving it.
Best I can recall, the events unfolded something like this. I woke up, unable to match up the buttons on my shirt, so my mom helped me getting dressed. I asked the doctor and nurse if they had kept my teeth for me. (A little background: I have been a pack rat most of my life. To make it even worse I like to examine the inner workings of just about everything. Not to mention I still remember Grandpa Jackson showcasing his removed hip in a jar after his replacement surgery. So I had the thought,"Why not keep my teeth? They don't have a need for them, and would just be throwing them away. I also lost all of my baby teeth. Keeping my teeth was an appeal to all these wants at the same time.) To my delight the teeth had be set aside as requested.
On the way home I kept talking about skate boarding and verifying that my teeth had not been thrown away by the doctor or forgotten when we left, and didn't stop asking about them until I got back home and fell asleep. After I woke up and listened to the tape I immediately asked to see the teeth. I was really in no condition to do anything, but getting more sleep. I was stubborn and my mom could tell I wasn't going to sleep again until I was appeased.
She presented the manila envelope with a bloody mess inside. I got to work right away cleaning them into a less vomit inducing appearance. After all the anticipation and work cleaning them, the teeth were... unimpressive. Once you've seen a tooth, you've seen them all. White, hard, and boring are the only three descriptive words that come to mind.
Since I don't have the tape recording to post online, here's the next best thing. You may have already seen this video with all of the publicity it's received, but I'm confident you will enjoy it again and again. I have.
(Little did Patrick know, his visit to the dentist would make him into an overnight celebrity on YouTube.)
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